The Dog Ate My Homework and other hard to believe excuses…

Can you believe people still use this excuse?  In an age where everyone does all there writing, communicating, and work from a computer, its hard to believe that the family dog would go to town on their hard drive and confuse a wireless mouse with the one that hides in holes and eats cheese.

In the past couple of months, I have invited friends to my birthday party, hired a freelancer and tried to collect the rent. And here were some of the excuses..

I lost your number, so I couldn’t get a hold of you…but I love your new facebook photos, did you see my comments?

I cant come next weekend because I will be sick.

My kids are really sick and I don’t know when they will be better but… lets go out tomorrow.

 I just got in a head on collision  and I left the rent in my truck ..can I give you the money in two weeks?

I was in the hospital.

My phone died.

My computer died.

My relative died

I almost died.

I am so busy. I can’t cope. Everything is piling up. There is never enough time in the day. Hey…have you seen The Walking Dead? I just watched the entire first season last night. Its so good! 

Ok now I feel terrible. Why didn’t I know you would be sick a week from now? That’s awful your phone died, its brand new and they said the battery would last forever, especially when you have that recharger in your car… I should have sent flowers. I feel so guilty, making it about myself. Would I have rather heard the truth…

I didn’t lose your number but judging from your facebook photos …your parties suck.

I don’t want to come next week because your organic hummus makes me sick..and its not organic…it comes from a can.

I want to stay at home with my kids because they are more fun than listening to you sing karaoke.

I don’t have the rent money, I don’t even have a truck.

I wasn’t exactly IN the hospital, I was in the bar across the street. 

I don’t have a phone.

I don’t have a relative.

I smoke a lot of weed, and I like to lie on the couch night after night and I totally forgot you even even hired me to do the work…but it helps me concentrate…so..what was the question? 

People say “ the truth hurts” but I beg to differ. Its hurts more waiting for something that was promised and then feeling guilty for asking for it in the first place. I won’t take it personally because its you, not me, and its the truth. Its honest and authentic…and lets face it, I’ll get over the fact that you hate my karaoke rendition of Feel Like Making Love, because your Bust a Move is so much worse. So next time you feel inclined to make up an excuse, try telling the truth. Isn’t that person worth it…unless you don’t want to go out with them because they are ugly…then you should lie… say you have food poisoning….now thats original!!


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