The Greatest Dad in the World

Today is my Dad’s 68th birthday. Dad, you refused to let me buy you an internet router for your birthday, so enjoy this tribute at your McDonalds free wifi connection. I hope you will be able to enjoy it in peace without that crazy guy singing show tunes and showering at the table next to you. 


I am always praising how great my Dad is. Maybe its because I live 12 hours away and only speak to him when I want him to do my taxes…or my friend’s taxes…


Here in no particular order are the top ten reasons why my Dad is the greatest man in the world ( and don’t worry Mom, you are the greatest Mother…except for when you keep asking me for that five dollars I borrowed from you two years ago). 


  1. He never says a bad word about anyone…even the crazy guy at McDonalds… serenading, Annie’s “Its a Hard Knock Life”, while he tries to steal my Dad’s wallet. 
  2. I’ve never seen my Dad get angry. I’ve seen him get frustrated, like when it comes to anything mechanical…actually… then I’ve seen him cry. 
  3. He is extremely supportive. My Dad celebrates everything I do. He has the entire condo development doing a wave when I turned on the cable TV by myself. 
  4. He is a good communicator. When he wants to know something, he just opens my mail. 
  5. My Dad loves to hug. Growing up he made all of us kid’s give him four hugs a day. Actually he made everyone give him four hugs a day…that poor mailman. 
  6. He is really smart. Stephen Hawking usually calls him when he can’t solve a problem.
  7. He is willing to help anyone, without asking for anything in return. That is probably why he has an entire commune sleeping on his lawn.  
  8. He treats his pets like his own children- maybe even better. Actually…last year I wasn’t asked to be in the family photo, because they had to make room for their dog Austin..who weighs 5 pounds…and looks like a drowned rat.
  9. He lends me money…and then my Mother adds interest..and hires a collection agency.
  10. His sense of humour. My Dad is hilarious. He has the best dry sense of humour and delivery that could put any comedian to shame. He is not loud, overbearing, rude or filthy…just funny! 


So Dad, here is to you on your birthday! And to all of those dead beats Dad’s out there, you are missing out on one of the greatest experiences and rewarding gifts in your life…your grown child writing about you on the internet because she is too cheap to send a card. 


Happy Birthday Dad!!



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