Just recently, I spoke at a self esteem conference about “loving what you got”. At the end of my speech a woman stood up and said ” Don’t you think you’re a little too positive”….Ummm, I thought the crowd enjoyed holding hands. She continued ” Today we are so self indulgent, what happened to accountability”.
After I got home and looked up accountability in the dictionary, I thought about it and I had to agree with her.
It’s wonderful to love yourself, ( I have three broken shower-heads to prove it) but even self love is blind.
There have been stages in my life where I have behaved in excess- drinking, food, Tony Danza movies. Those behaviours were fine once in a while but when your using red wine as your new lipstick shade, or blaming your breasts as the reason why you cant fit into any clothes, or you can recite the entire first season of Who’s The Boss, its time to take a step back and say ” I’m having too much”.
Here’s the thing, nobody is going to tell you you’re getting fat. Unless you’re guzzling your way to season 15 of Intervention, nobody is going to tell you you’re drinking too much and… lets not even go there with Tony Danza.
I have always loved exercise. I have been on sports teams, ran races, and of course, worked in a gym as a trainer. I used to think as long as I’m exercising, I can eat whatever I want. My jeans weren’t fitting and my breasts looked like I had morphed with Anna Nicole Smith. I thought, it wasn’t me, it was the DRYER. So what did I do? I stopped wearing jeans, lived in yoga pants and bought larger bras. Even though I was running 10k a day and eating a vegetarian diet it doesn’t mean I can guzzle down a case of wine and stalk Mr.Danza on twitter.
I needed to take accountability for my actions. Yes I loved myself, that was clear, but having high self esteem does not entitle me to have everything I want. You know what they say ” Everything in moderation”.
As a trainer and nutritionist, I come in contact with clients on a weekly basis who struggle with their weight. More often than not, they are doing all the right things – eating right, exercising, eliminating stress but cannot seem to lose weight. I am perplexed and wonder, ” Is it hormones, is it your bone structure”. First of all your bone structure doesn’t have anything to do with a pot belly or breasts the size of Red Deer. As we dug deeper I realized it wasn’t the food they were eating- it was the amount! Yes, those potatoes are gluten free, but it doesn’t mean you should eat five of them. Yes, that cheese is organic, but a serving size is the tip of your thumb not your whole hand. Yes fruit is good, but a serving size is one apple, not ten cut up into pieces as an afternoon snack. If you feel you are doing all the right things but you just popped the fifteenth button this month, you’re not! Its time to look at your serving sizes.
You can find serving sizes on the labels of your food, or on many internet sources but here is an idea:
1 piece of fruit, 1 cup raw leafy vegetables, 1/2 cup potato
1 slice of bread, 1/2 cup cooked rice, half a bagel
1.5 ounces cheese, 2 tbsp peanut butter
1/2 cup meat, fish or poultry
1/2 glass of wine ( ouch)
So that lady did have a valid point. Yes I am too positive- when I run, I listen to The Wiggles. Even though loving yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself, we have to be accountable for our behaviour and that includes portion sizes of all food and drink.
I follow the 80/20 and it works best for me. 80% of the time treat your body right and 20% of the time, be bad. If you want an extra helping at dinner, or another glass of wine, go for it, just not every single time!
That’s my two cents and it works for me. Ok, I’m off to hug a clown!
Stay tuned for The Out Of Our heads sketch comedy show, coming to Calgary!