I went out for fusion cuisine with a friend last weekend, listening to her complain about the state of her love life. In return she heard me complain that ‘fusion’ was just another word for salmonella with a retro soundtrack. She is a beautiful woman in her forties and still searching. She was given the opportunity to go out with a forty- three year old single doctor from the Netherlands. Her response? She denied the invitation and when I asked why, she responded, ” There must be something wrong with him”.
I was floored. First of all, you got a free ticket to go out with a dutch doctor. HELLO prescription marijuana!! Take the date and clean the roaches out of his ashtray!
She explained “If you’re in your forties and have never been married, there is something wrong.”
My heart sunk…I wasn’t sure if it was the raw chicken in our waiters beard or the fact that her comment reminded me of my own fears.
Not too long ago, I was a thirty something singleton trying to make my way in the world.
I also thought of all my single friends in their thirties and forties still searching for love.
Is there something wrong with them? Are they flawed because they have never taken the plunge and walked down the aisle?
Is marriage the only choice in order to be perceived as a “normal person”.
I only met my husband four short years ago and before that I used to ask myself the same question ” What is wrong with me”.
I have always been a self assured, independent self sufficient woman.Time after time, that question was always asked of me.
It seemed as though unless you are married with kids, the world is never comfortable with you. Your choices are always questioned, and your answers are never enough.
” I just haven’t met the right person.” That response is always followed by ” I know someone… he is recently separated and living in the garage but he is GRRREAT”. People always want to help you and find you someone, because being single is NEVER good enough.
Now that I am married, not a day goes by that someone doesn’t ask me if I have kids…do I want kids…when am I having kids…….do I want their kid?
That question makes me so mad….I just punched a wall…. I need a bandaid and an advil…I’m going to save that topic for next time.
Back to the whole ” there must be something with you if you’re single thing”.
Let me tell you something. If you are one of those people that think there must be something wrong with single people, there is something wrong with you.
Countless studies have shown, that single people are the happiest! They get to make their own choices for EVERYTHING- bedtime, nap-time, dinner-time, movie-time, sex-time, vacation time, opinion time. They can do whatever they want, when they want. If there is something wrong with that, you can talk to me after your kids go to bed and your husband denies you of sex for the eighty-fourth time because he is drunk from watching the Blue Jays game and mowing the lawn all day.
As far as the forty three year old, single dutch doctor is concerned. There is nothing wrong with him. The only thing that is wrong, is the fact he hasn’t brought me over some brownies for my sore stomach.
To all my single friends! There is NOTHING wrong with you! You have got it going on! Now… invite me over before I punch another wall.